When I was in my addiction I took so many things for granted.
And I don’t even know if it was me taking them for granted from an arrogance standpoint–like “oh yeah the world owes me everything” it was more from a place that I just didn’t fucking see anything. I didn’t see my surroundings and the life that was all around me.
All I saw was the bullshit I was wrapped up in every day. The bars, the alcohol, the drama of what comes living in that lifestyle. I never truly took the time to look the fuck around and find gratitude in anything that wasn’t what most people find gratitude in. Like of course I was grateful for money when it came in, and food when it came in–you know, basic human necessities.
I can hardly think of a time when the little things brought be true happiness when I was in my addiction. Little things outside of my shakes being suppressed finally or my vomiting finally stopping.
I’m talking little things like my favorite song coming on. The window down while driving. A hot cup of coffee in the dead silence with a good book.
Sidenote, I completely stopped reading in my addiction. For 12+ years I can count on one hand the amount of books I finished. And that alone says ALOT if you know me. I have ALWAYS been an avid reader, a good and fast reader with great comprehension (so many teachers in the past have told me). So for me to completely stop doing something that sets my soul on fire is proof enough how much alcohol took precedence in my life.
Anyways.
Fresh sheets and fucking nature man. You ever been outside and truly just looked the fuck around? Truly LOOKED at nature and everything that is LIVING?! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK. There is so much beauty literally everywhere and I never ever noticed it.
I remember one time, I was like 6 months sober and I had gone to the beach. I balled my baby blue eyes out at the beauty I was seeing all around me. I had this overwhelming sense of gratitude for my life and what I was finally able to see. It was like this veil was lifted off me and all of a sudden I could see.
I feel like so often we just go through the motions every day. We see the same shit and the same people and we grow complacent in seeing those places and people. It’s almost TOO easy to stop truly seeing people and things anymore because we have looked at them so much.
Stop what you’re doing right now and find someone next to you, or find a picture of someone, or find your pet and just look at them. Notice their features, their mannerisms, their clothing. Just look at them as it is the first time you are seeing them.
Did that cause any emotion from you?
Do the same exercise outside next time. Truly just look at shit and see life pulsing through it. For crying out loud we are ALIVE and we are connected on this planet and there is SO much love and visualization we can see and feel everyday.
It starts in the small things. The little things. Find them throughout the day. Search for them. Welcome them. That is how you start finding happiness in things outside of monetary value or outside of your normal set of goals.
Goals are literally the best thing to achieve. You work so hard and sacrifice so much to obtain them, but goals are fleeting–and for most people who are extremely goal driven–not enough.
Goals come, they happen during one moment on one day, then what?
You probably set another goal?
But what about the in-between? How can you find happiness in the in between moments of your life?
It’s in the little things throughout the day.
The hug you’ve had a million times from you spouse when you get home. Yes that hug, quit taking that shit for granted and fucking hug the shit out of them. Savor that hug.
The fresh take out meal you just got. Savor each bite. Truly taste the food. Enjoy the heat or coldness.
Crawling into bed after a long day and feel your bed. Feel your sheets and your pillow and absorb yourself into it.
Little things are free, and you can find them anywhere at anytime 🙂
Words, from my heart. 